Rue Is
by Jou Veres
Summary: The herb rue represents many things. So does the girl. Four words, four different views.
1. Rue: Bitterness

Bitterness

My name. My name. They called my name. I suppose I should have expected it, with the amount of tesserae I had to take, but I'm twelve! There has to be a mistake, any mistake, anything at all that will make the announcer laugh and pipe in her ridiculous voice "Oops, not you!" But nothing happens except for whispers in the crowd, anxious for me to go, go, get up there. Hands I don't recognize start to push me towards the stage, my head to the waists of everyone else as I shakingly climb onto the stage. I look at the boy as he walks up next to me. He's not even a boy, he's a man, a monster. He's too huge to be here. But I don't cry. Not when we shake hands, not when they lead me away, not when my brothers and sisters come in, crying and begging on my lap to just come back. In fact, as I stiffly and stonefacedly walk onto the train, I feel something that I never do. They are taking me away from my life and from everything I have ever known; they are cutting off any way home and forcing me to walk calmly into my own death. They have taken the understanding Rue, the kind, loving, mothering girl who takes care of everyone and never yells or snaps or gets angry, has a harshness inside of her. If anything, I have earned the right to be bitter.


	2. Katniss: Grief

Grief

I run in frantically, panting and half crazed, but when I arrive, there is nothing to do but stop. I am too late. The spear already impales her fragile chest. Whirling around, my arrow is in District One's neck before he can even pull out the spear. Rue's wide eyes water, but she never cries. Those eyes are hauntingly like Prim's: deep, fraught with emotion, and now, slowly fading away. I want, more than anything, to just look away; I want to run far away from this tiny clearing. Rue is going to die, but I refuse to let her die alone. I realize she is asking me about our plan, the Career's food. I force myself to look at her, to push the words out of my clenched lips. It's all gone. I will win for both of us. She whispers, asking me to sing, so I do, a lullaby that I sing to Prim when she is sick. The song speaks the truth. She is going somewhere better than this, but I love her here. When she finally dies, a wave of emotions hits me. I am angry, lost, and confused. But what hits me the hardest is something deeper than the rest, something I haven't felt since my father died. Grief. As I bury Rue in flowers, it is digging into me, making me listless, careless, and insane all at once. Somehow, I know I will never stop grieving.


	3. Marvel: Regret

Regret

I didn't know it was the little girl when I heard the net snap. All I heard was a thrashing that, when silenced, would bring me one step closer to home. I can't deny that I wanted another kill. I mean, that's what these games are all about! I had wanted this, trained for this, as long as I can remember. Still, no amount of training can keep the arena from changing you. So when I ran into the clearing, I didn't even pause before I speared the victim of my trap. Then the girl on fire, that bitch from 12, came charging in and shot me before I had a chance to react. Apparently she got that 11 for archery. Only as I collapsed did I realized I had brutally murdered the only person in these Games I had sworn not to kill: the tiny, defenseless one who was too much like my sisters for me to even think about killing. And yet I had done it, managing to get myself killed in the process. I will leave this arena, not with the glory I so craved, but in a plain wooden box, knowing my sisters saw me kill a girl just like them. I am almost thankful to the girl on fire for not making me live with this regret, but I know I still hate her for taking my glory. And as I yank the arrow out of my neck, that is what I regret the most.

* * *

A/N: I know I haven't put a disclaimer. We're on FANfiction, people. But thanks for all the R&R, especially LoveTheBoyWithTheBread, Alpha Amanda, and Penelope Wendy Bing. Y'all rock. Just saying.


End file.
